"Sitting on a park bench"

Below my porch is a deer-proofed garden and a trough for spring run-off. Beyond them, just before the creek, is a bench.

Yesterday I sat on this bench and found it most unpleasant.

From a distance the bench looks like a loveseat. But up close it looks more like a "hateseat" in that it is too big for one and too small for two.

As for the view, you can hardly see the creek. In fact, there is more water to be seen from the left and the right of this bench than there is from sitting on it.

No, this is not a bench to use, but one to look at and imagine using. In that sense, it is not unlike a pair of shoes that look good in the reflection of shop windows but kill us with each step.