MAÎTRE D'HÔTEL: Mr Turner has an unusual request.
OWNER: Which Mr Turner?
MDH: A Michael Turner. Someone in Dishwashing knows him as a gossip columnist.
OWNER: What does the 'A' stand for?
MDH: Singular, sir. As in one. The article 'A'.
OWNER: Get on with it.
MDH: He will be dining alone and would like to be seated with others.
OWNER: Ugh, riddles. Translation?
MDH: He has asked to be seated at a table of three diners. Presumably to take up the fourth chair.
OWNER: I would consider that an intrusion. No.
MDH: With all due respect, sir, Mr Turner considers it a [holding up hands to make air quotes] "green gesture," and we have spent a great deal of money of late in our effort to prove that we are indeed a [holding up hands to make air quotes] "green solution."
OWNER: Has this been tried before?
MDH: Not to my knowledge, sir.
OWNER (bending down to look at the reservation map): There [pointing with a pencil]. Seat him with the Pynchons.
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