The World's Most Expensive Camera As a Weapon of Mass Creation

There were over 300 things that could have scuttled the "installation" of the $10-billion (USD) James Webb Space Telescope as it unfurled ("like origami," reporters kept saying) in its L2 orbit of the Sun, roughly 1.5 million kms from Earth.

Launched on Christmas Day (Dec. 25), the telescope is now capable of looking back (and more clearly than Hubble) into the history of our 13.8 billon year old universe. All but the first 100, 000 years will be revealed, presumably because these years, like the best lots in La Jolla, have been held back by investors.

To cover themselves, NASA will concoct a conspiracy theory that suggests the People's Republic of China had already discovered these first years, found that they bore a striking resemblance to the pantings of Ferdinand Leeke (1859-1923), and had a scrambling device installed that has turned them into analogue "static".

For those put out, NASA has suggested that if other signs of life exist in our universe, the JWST will provide conclusive proof. Yet another instance of the camera standing in as an arbiter of truth.