Wednesday, December 1, 2021

No Sleeping After Television


Crazy dream last night. After spending part of the day searching unsuccessfully for an advent calendar, I retired early and recalled the calendars of my childhood, when suddenly I am amongst the crowd of a Christmas-themed episode of Storage Wars. Feeling guilty about missing the first twenty minutes of the show, I start backing out of the crowd when my name is called and I am asked to open the door of that day's unit. With the cameras rolling (of course), I lift the door and find the unit filled with what I learn are Irish refugees. I look behind me: both the crowd and the cameras are gone -- it's just me and the refugees. Only now the refugees are no longer Irish refugees but Iranian border guards, and I am asked for my papers. I swing my satchel around, open it, and what should I find inside but an advent calendar. Without thinking, I pass the calendar to the nearest guard. He opens the December 1st door, then shouts in my face, "No soup for you!"

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